The Sun Rises on Another Day in Singapore
The days are clicking by at seemingly ever-increasing speeds. I myself cannot believe that two years have rolled by since first arriving to the island-nation republic of Singapore. I am making the bold assumption that the speedy pace that time has been flying by is in direct correlation to the fact that things are going well and that I am always seemingly busy. Surely if I was having a miserable time, I would be counting the days rather than wondering where they all went.
What follows is an amusing commentary that points to the period when a Western Ex-pat has finally achieved (or succommed to) peace with life in Singapore. Now not all of these things will make sense to those who have never been to Singapore, but for those of us who make our way here; I must say this compilation is truly classic. Enjoy!You Know You've Been in Singapore Too Long When...
You've lost your sense of irony, sarcasm, and cynicism.
You don't know what's lame and what isn't anymore.
You think there's nothing wrong with putting chili sauce on everything you eat.
You wait for instructions from people in authority before doing anything. Always.
You join queues without knowing or caring what the queue is for.
You actually know what "queue" means.
You can type an SMS on your phone as quickly as you would if you had a regular keyboard.
Your idea of a good night out consists of having dinner at a hawker centre, drinking beer, and then going to another hawker centre and eating again.
You've lost your ability to criticize people in higher positions than you, even if they're wrong.
You accept that expressways here are cleaner than toilets rather than the other way around.
You would buy a $20 product you don't need if it's on sale for $10 just to save the money.
You think that corn and beans are dessert foods.
You have a high tolerance for nagging.
Most or all of these acronyms make sense to you: NUS; NTU; ERP; SDU; PAP;
MRT; LKY; GCT; PRC; TIBS; SBS; SMS; JB; JBJ; AMK; AYE; PIE; ECP; ISD; ISA;5 C's; CPF; CHIJMES; SPG; CWO.
You use too many acronyms when you talk, or you create new ones.
You think that nothing makes a girl or guy more attractive than to dress exactly like hundreds of thousands of other girls and guys who all dress exactly like girls and guys in malls.
You think that $100,000 is a reasonable price for a Toyota Corolla and $1,000,000 is a reasonable price for a bungalow, but $5 for a plate of fried noodles is a barbarous outrage.
You believe that not being able to get decent roti prata outside Singapore is enough to keep the best and the brightest people from leaving the country.
You see nothing wrong with forming committees of select elite people to deliberate and study ways to stimulate creativity and spontaneity.
You justify every argument with the phrase "in order for us to be competitive in the 21st century".
You think everything should be "topped up".
You believe that a lack of land is enough justification for the goverment to do what it wants.
You wear winter clothes indoors and summer clothes outdoors.
Durian fruit no longer stinks to you.
You like to have fun, but not too much fun, since you need to correctly gauge the amount of fun necessary to achieve the optimal result. Any more fun that that would bring shame to your family and your country.
You forgot what a city organized around a grid looks like.
In a country where people use smart cards for public transit, you have no problem with construction workers riding in the open backs of pickup trucks.
You think paying $50 for a bottle of booze that costs $15 at home is a bargain.
You're not confused by a street naming system that locates streets like Clementi Road, Clementi Street, Clementi Crescent, Clementi Lane, Clementi Drive, Clementi Way, and Clementi Avenues 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, and 7 all within walking distance of each other.
You get irritated if you don't see a sign telling you how long your wait's going to be for a bus, a train, or the expressway to take you where you want to go.
You think that no vegetable should ever be eaten raw for any reason. Except for cucumbers.
No matter what you're doing at the moment, you'd rather be shopping.
You forgot what chewing gum tastes like.
You say "handphone", not "cellphone" And you think there's no such thing as a handphone that's too thin.
You're not bothered by the fact that government cares whether you know how to use a toilet or urinal correctly.
You're sure that the best way to change social behaviour is through consistent and comprehensive government-sponsored campaigns that permeate as many aspects of daily life as possible. And when they don't work, you never speak of them again.
You think a bus is incomplete without a TV.